I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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