Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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