he puts the penis in happiness.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
