I never want to see another naked old woman again.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
