This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
