i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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