You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
