Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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