is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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