I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
The feeling are messing with the penis
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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