32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
