And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
