I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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