I just saw a hot homeless man
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
