And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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