Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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