i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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