i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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