Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I want to be your penis for a week.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
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