I will die if light touches me.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
