How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
