i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
