Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
