god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
