Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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