I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
