Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
ok first of all what the fuck
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
