Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
