I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
