I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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