Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
