Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
