His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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