he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
not ubering you a puppy
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
