...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
