i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
