there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
