This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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