guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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