Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
