Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
