I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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