She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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