He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Princesses don't give blow jobs
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
