I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
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