yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
