You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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