I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
