Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
