nut hugger
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
