What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
