if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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